The KPI

I don't care about your KPI Your fake ass smile and your corporate lies Talk ROI while the system is die By EOD it’s circle back right I'm done playing nice in this cheap necktie All this fake alignment I'm not that guy Yeah Zoom call about a Zoom next week 30 Minutes just to touch base and speak Let's take this offline yeah sure Another calendar block I can't endure QA failed 'cause nobody reads SLA breach but it's planting seeds CSAT tanked but it's early days Everything's framed in corporate haze Shit keeps breaking surprise surprise Morons building an enterprise I fix it fast they take the credit And add a slide deck to forget it I don't care about your KPI Your fake ass smile in your corporate lies Talk ROI while the system's fry By EOD its great job guys All these OKRs misaligned But somehow it's my fault every time Boss walks in like second coming Brain on mute but the bullshit's humming Strategic lens and holistic view Bro the servers down, what you gonna do Talking synergy talking scale Meanwhile basic logic fails Thinks he's sharp in his shiny suit Whole damn team thinks he's a mute Behind his back it's open season Slack threads light up for a reason Visionary, yeah that's rich We just nod like sure thing bitch I don't care about your KPI or your quick wins And your battle cry You want metrics here’s one for you Zero fucks by quarter two Smile in meetings dead inside Polished decks full of polished lies I'm tired of playing corporate dress up Tired of pretending I'm impressed All this culture and values pride While we're buried in threads inside One day I'm ghosting cashing out No more standups no more doubt When I make it big and I finally jump Climb on this desk and take a dump I don't care about your KPI Your fake ass grind in your polished tie Keep your OKRs keep your lies I'm building something on the side When I'm gone don't act surprised You ignored the warning signs Let's reconnect Let's circle back Let's align offline now I'm out