The Things I Don't Say

I keep it kind I keep it clean I bite my tongue Till it bites me I hold the door and I hold my face Say I’m fine in the usual place Make the joke and take the blame Leave the room with my hands still tame There’s a voice in the back of my head Saying things that should never get said Little black sparks in a soft white room Sharp little teeth in a polite little mood I’m not proud Of the shape they take I stay calm But I feel them wake The things I don’t say They follow me home The things I don’t say They sit in my throat I smile like a saint I wave them away God only knows The things I don’t say Nice face, bad mind, clean shirt, red wine Small talk, big lie, “No, man, I’m fine Slow fuse buried in a good deed Say the right thing while the wrong one feeds Helpful, careful, quietly resentful Sweet little text with a knife in the pencil I don’t swing, don’t shout, don’t make a scene Just scrub my thoughts till my conscience looks clean I don’t break I behave I don’t curse I save face The things I don’t say They follow me home The things I don’t say They sit in my throat I smile like a saint I wave them away God only knows The things I don’t say Didn’t say it But I thought it Didn’t mean it But I wanted Closed mouth Big wave All the things I don’t say Nice man Bad room Soft hands Dark tune Clean smile Sharp taste All the things I don’t say The things I don’t say They’re louder now The things I don’t say They’re breaking out I smile like a saint But the bass won’t obey God only knows The things I don’t say The things I don’t say They live in my bones I’m kind till I’m not I’m calm till I cave God only knows The things I don’t say I keep it kind I keep it clean I bite my tongue Till it bites me